a quiet & rainy evening... warm green tea...a house that smells of freshly baked cookies & vanilla candles... i love the romance of a perfect setting conducive to reflecting.
in a classroom of 23 kids, all with a story, it pains me that i cannot flat out tell each one of them that Jesus loves them, that He died for them, that He wants them to be kind and selfless, that He can heal the brokenness they already have at seven/eight years old, that He can set them free...more than anything i want to take them right then and there and pray with them.
i know that nothing in this life matters unless it is about loving God and loving others. if i cannot preach the gospel in my classroom with words, i hope i can preach it with an abundance of hugs, homemade cookies, validating words, meaningful lessons, a nurturing environment, tough love and gentle correction, offering grace, etc.
i have realized that loving 23 children like Jesus loves them is so much harder than i ever thought it would be. how i need the Spirit to love them through me. believe me, there are times when i am not feeling gracious. there are times when twelve of them all need me at the same time and all i want is my space. there are times when i feel like being harsh. there are times when i am completely impatient. loving each of them and giving them individualized attention is challenging--sometimes it feels impossible. i am so thankful that the same power that conquered the grave, and the same love that rescued the earth, lives in me. i need to not only remember this truth, but believe that it is stronger than my weakness, my sin, and the "impossible."
in a classroom of 23 kids, all with a story, it pains me that i cannot flat out tell each one of them that Jesus loves them, that He died for them, that He wants them to be kind and selfless, that He can heal the brokenness they already have at seven/eight years old, that He can set them free...more than anything i want to take them right then and there and pray with them.
i know that nothing in this life matters unless it is about loving God and loving others. if i cannot preach the gospel in my classroom with words, i hope i can preach it with an abundance of hugs, homemade cookies, validating words, meaningful lessons, a nurturing environment, tough love and gentle correction, offering grace, etc.
i have realized that loving 23 children like Jesus loves them is so much harder than i ever thought it would be. how i need the Spirit to love them through me. believe me, there are times when i am not feeling gracious. there are times when twelve of them all need me at the same time and all i want is my space. there are times when i feel like being harsh. there are times when i am completely impatient. loving each of them and giving them individualized attention is challenging--sometimes it feels impossible. i am so thankful that the same power that conquered the grave, and the same love that rescued the earth, lives in me. i need to not only remember this truth, but believe that it is stronger than my weakness, my sin, and the "impossible."
No doubt in my mind that you're going to be a wonderful teacher Courtney! You're heart is in it, and God is moving through you =)
ReplyDeleteGirl you know I 100% relate to this post. I don't know how I would stay sane without God to lean on...especially when 12 precious children are shouting my name at the same time. Haha.
ReplyDeleteOh Courtney, you are SO sweet! I love this post SO much!
ReplyDeleteAnd the very first paragraph? Sounds dreamy!