confidence vs. insecurity & pride.

what a battle insecurity and pride are. it might sound funny to be writing about insecurity and pride in the same post... but i truly believe they go hand in hand. 

how many times will i have to repent of trusting in myself or my circumstances for validation? as i am writing this post, i am convicted. confidence is a daily battle, because in order to choose confidence, we have to choose Jesus-daily. i was reading ezekiel 16, one of my favorite chapters in the Bible, and the Lord revealed to me a lot about insecurity and pride, and a lot about myself. in this allegory of an unfaithful bride, that is Jerusalem, the Lord finds a filthy woman who is practically dying. He finds and rescues her, nourishes her back to health, and makes her a beautiful queen.

Ezekiel 16:14-”And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign Lord” (emphasis mine).

this woman was nothing before the Lord rescued her...it was Him who made her beautiful...not only did He cause her to be beautiful, but he made her “beauty perfect.” we will never be truly confident until we realize that it is God who makes us beautiful and gives us any kind of significance at all. without Him, we are nothing...but with Him, we are glorious with His splendor. 

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if you continue to read ezekiel 16, the woman uses the beauty and splendor given to her by the Lord to pursue other lovers... 

Ezekiel 16:15- “But you trusted in your beauty and used your fame to become a prostitute. You lavished your favors on anyone who passed by and your beauty became his” (emphasis mine).

i think the whole key to this story is that the woman trusted in herself and her other “lovers.” she did not trust the One who made her beautiful, but she trusted in her own beauty to find validation and satisfaction from others. this woman had pride and insecurity issues.  

pride is rooted in insecurity and insecurity is rooted in pride. both look to something other than God to find validation and worth. pride looks to self to get others’ approval and insecurity looks to others to get the approval of self. i am a bundle of insecurity and pride because so often i look to what others are saying about me, the number on the scale, how fit my body is, how good my hair looks, the grades on my report card or latest assignment, how “successful” my husband and i’s student ministry is, my achievements, and etc...funny thing is, this list is all set to the world's standards, not God's. it is long and exhausting. pride and insecurity are ugly and unfulfilling.   

confidence looks to the Lord and the Lord only. confidence cares more about what God thinks than what others think. confidence strives to please and glorify Jesus, not self, not others. confidence is beautiful and glorious because it is from the only beautiful and glorious God. 

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confidence will come when all credit and trust goes to God for His love, beauty, and righteousness poured out onto you and me. we will know we are beautiful and validated because it is only because of Him and it all depends on Him...it all depended on Him in the beginning when He crafted you and me with His hand, composed the sound of our laughs, instilled desires inside our hearts, and chose us to be holy, belonging to Him.  depending on Him is always safe because He is reliable. you and i can celebrate who God made us to be and how He created us, inside and out, because that brings glory to Him, and bringing glory to Him is a beautiful thing. 

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